I deserved a sticker too!

Yesterday was Connors' 15th month appointment! I didn't think I would make it this far!

So you know, in my causal manner, I dress Mr. Man and slid on some flip flops with my hair in a rats' nest of a 'bun and away we go to his appointment! The moment I walk in, I always tell myself "Why the BEEP did you come in here lookin' a hot mess!?" Are pediatricians offices code for cat walk? That memo must have fallen out of my take home packet from the hospital. How the BEEP do these women have the chance to look like they hopped right off a fashion magazine?

Anyways our name gets called back and share the same ole' banter we always share with the nurse. It goes a little something like this:

Nurse "Look how big you've gotten Connor!"
Connor: blank stare
Nurse: "Connor how old are you?"
Connor: blank stare with little enthusiam
Nurse: "Are you ready for your shots big man?'
Me: Blank stare and thinking "ya right, are YOU ready for the screams?"
Connor: blank stare


My monster gets weighted, and measured, exercising his lungs...aka. screaming his little head off. Great! We haven't even gotten to the shots yet, and he's already making the other babies in the office cringe. He gets 3 shots that day. The worst is holding his arms down. I feel like he's going to pay me later for being an accomplish to this terrible thing called immunizations. Of course like a blubbering idiot I ball my eyes out along with him. Then the nurse turns around and comes back with stickers...

"Which sticker would you like" she said. Me acting all cutesy with the baby, says "Yay Connor, you derseve a sticker, which one would you like? The nurse than looks at me and says "No, I was asking which one you wanted, those shots looked tough on you mom"

Connor and I walk past the supermodel moms waiting in the lobby sporting our "see spot" stickers proudly on our t-shirts like we're badass and go on our merry little way! We made another immunization dr appointment! We totally kick ass.

I just had a 20 minute conversation with myself about eating a cookie! It went kind of like this.

Me: " I don't need you no-bake cookie"

Cookie: "YUMMMMMMMMMYYYY"

Me: "Damn it, you look so good, maybe I can exercise an extra 20 minutes? Oh who the hell am I kidding? I don't even want to work out today. Maybe running around with the baby will magically burn 350 calories."

Cookie: "GOOOOOODDD"

Me: "I DON'T NEEEEED YOU!! "

Cookie: "You wont this battle but not the WAR!"

Yep, I'm certifiably fat and crazy! Lately, Ive been following my Jenny Craig Program and running (which isn't a pretty sight--think whale out of water!) But the little temptations are hard to pass up throughout the day. I mean, I am chasing a crazed toddler around all day, I deserve a taste of betty crocker heaven!

Who am I kidding? I gotta get my ass into shape! Especially after my husband smacked my ass last night, and it just stopped jiggling this morning!

What measures have the other mamas taken to get the weight off?

Suckerpunch!

Not my post for the day, but I had to post that my 15 month old just suckerpunched me right in the kisser...and he laughed! Oh Vey!

NO? What's that

So, my toddler has successfully learned to push over his lock in place baby gates. Yep, OH SHIT is completely right. My little man may be a man of few words but this isn't his first rodeo.

My 15 month old can only say about a handful of words, but don't let that cute chubby cheeked monster fool ya. He knows what he's doing. That stink, will willfully RUN to the stairs, waiting for you to say those overused words 'NO' I mean, that's like telling me to put down the cake....no just wont work. Connor goes on his happy trail, tears down the baby gate and darts for the top of the stairs like Rocky Balboa.

So, what is this mama to do? Time out? Ya right! The kid is a monkey, he scales the walls! Spanking? First of all, I'm a softie (both physically and mentally ) so that wont work.

What are your methods? If anyone is even listening?